As you can imagine, I’ve heard the good, the bad and the ugly of elevator speeches, but this one particularly stood out.
It went something like this:
Hi I’m Jill of [fill in company name]. I’m the speaker at my networking group next Tuesday, and it’s my responsibility to bring guests. We’re a great group with usually at least 50 people there, so it will be a great networking opportunity for you. I hope you’ll be there.
Actually, it was a bit longer, and I tightened it up. But that was the gist.
There wasn’t anything really right about this speech, but here’s the list of what was wrong. Ready? It’s a long one.
1. Other than the company name, there’s no indication about what she does.
2. No indication about what she’s speaking about. Where’s the value in my coming?
3. Really, you wanted to tell us all it’s your responsibility to bring guests? That makes us more likely to attend why?
4. Short notice. This speech was given the Friday before the event.
5. Worst of all. Where and what time? The event moderator actually had to ask her to give that information. Lucky the moderator cared enough to do that.
What could this have looked like? How about this.
Hi, I’m Jill of [company name]. In my business, I [add value statement]. I’m the speaker at my networking group next Tuesday morning at 8:00. If you attend, you’ll receive 5 useful tips in the [fill in industry] that you’ll be able to use right away. The group usually has 50 people each week, so it’ll also be a good networking opportunity. The location is [fill in name and location of place].
The time frame is still short, but everything else gives us a reason to attend. And all the pertinent information.
Anyone else have a horribly bad speech to share. Of course, one you heard. We know yours are always good!