No, we’re not in the military, but Civilian Networker is the term I coined for those 9-5 people who don’t network for a living. They might ask a neighbor for a referral to a plumber or their best friend for a good auto mechanic, but thinking about referrals is not part of their daily personal or work activity. Financial planners, insurance folks, real estate professionals and network marketers rely on civilians for the bulk of their referrals. But most of you don’t have good tools for educating them and making them a consistent referral source.
This is the first in what I plan to be a series of posts on civilians and how to educate them. But let me start with an example of a civilian and why they don’t refer as often as we’d like.
Ten years ago, my husband and I bought our first house. In those days, I didn’t network at all. In fact, I thought networking was something that only happened in smoke-filled rooms and on golf courses. We didn’t ask anyone for a referral to a good Realtor. We did what many people do. We went to an open house, struck up a conversation with the attending Realtor, liked her and retained her.
She was great. Not only did she find us a house we loved (and the one where we still live today), she figured out what we really wanted in a house, despite the often conflicting messages we sent her. She was everything one could want in a Realtor. I would have referred her in a heartbeat. But I never did.
Why? Because referring wasn’t something I thought about. If someone had asked me, “Can you give me the name of the Realtor you used,” I would have gladly given it out. I must have known other people who were buying and selling houses. But I never gave out her name because nothing triggered in me.
Now I look back and groan. I could have done so much more to help her, if she had only educated me on how. Which is the key thing for you to remember. Referrals come (relatively) naturally to you. You look for them. You give them. But civilians don’t. So how can you educate them?
Very carefully. You’ll need to give it to them in easy, bite-sized pieces. Not because they are stupid. But because this is a brand-new skill you’re asking them to learn. Some of them will want to. Some won’t. But even the ones who don’t want to can be brought around if you work with them.
Stay tuned. Tomorrow I am going to write about how to construct a message that will trigger referrals in your civilians.
This was a great article Juli! That is so true that many don’t think about it. I try to always keep people in mind for business deals but many do need to be trained on how to do that so they can go through their mental Rolodex and refer others.
You really out done yourself! I’m so new to this stuff, you make it so newbie like myself can easly wrap their heads around it, thanks!