Networking works best when you know exactly who you need to meet. You can figure this out in a couple of ways.

1. You can profile your target

I’ve written more completely about this in a previous post, but I’ll quickly recap here. Basically, you develop a list of the characteristics of your target, and then convert those characteristics into triggers that you seed through all your communications.

Note that your targets can be either people or organizations. Job seekers will often start by profiling their ideal organization and then refine their search to target key people in their target companies. B2B sales people will use a similar process, while B2C people will usually use this method of targeting for clients but will use the next process for strategic partners.

2. Target specific people

Using this method, you know exactly who are the individuals you want to meet. You can ask for them in your elevator speech, research them through LinkedIn and ask for introductions or use your existing contacts to gradually step your way closer.

See how job seekers will often start with the first method and then move to the second? It’s a very good way to find your ideal job. I’m coaching a client through this process now. She’s in Virginia, searching for a job in Taiwan. She has finished with targeting her ideal companies, and now she’s moved to finding people and reaching out to them to set up informational interviews using Google+ Hangouts. Good use of social media in her job search.

So that’s how targeting works. Anyone have a good targeting story to share? Or maybe we can help you network your way to your target?

Yesterday I looked at some of the psychology behind the elevator speech and why the elements work the way they do in the order I suggest.

Today I want to focus on the psychology behind asking and how you can increase your odds that someone will respond with something you want.

Most people say either “If you know someone who needs my services, please hand over my card” or “A good referral for me today is…”

Neither of these are particularly effective. (Don’t believe me? Try them sometime and see what happens.) The first one does have a call to action (hand over my card), but asking for “someone who needs my services” is vague and not specific.

Remember that our natural inclination is to do nothing. It’s not fair, but it’s how most people act. Taking risks is…well…risky, and we don’t like to fail. As children, we’re taught to do the safe things, and the safest thing is often to do nothing. So if you are vague in what you ask for, we’ll default to doing nothing. Oh, we might say, “Sure, we’ll keep you in mind,” but more than likely 5 minutes later, you’re forgotten.

So you need to force us to think. Right here. Right now. Which is why “A good referral for me today” has part of it right. The “today” part. That gives a sense of urgency to thinking about it now. But you leave us with the question of “Is is still a good referral tomorrow?” Which gives us permission to ignore the request tomorrow and the day after. Still not what you want, right?

Frustrated yet? Don’t be. If you’ve followed the structure, you’re half way to getting what you want.

Remember how I talked about the importance of stories? Stories stick with us if they evoke an emotional reaction. You will remember an emotional reaction for a long time. It might be associated with what you were eating, smelling or feeling when the emotion is triggered. Emotions get fixed in us and can be re-triggered easily later. So the story will be valid tomorrow and the next day in the way that “A good referral today” won’t be.

Follow the story up with something to make us think, and you’ve probably got us. It makes the emotional trigger sink in deeper.

You make us think by asking for something specific. Remember the buy cycle? We make a decision with our emotions and then justify it logically. Well, the story helped us make an emotional decision. We either believe the story and want to help or we don’t. But we want to help. We really do, deep down. So that specific request, if it also triggers an emotional reaction, might shift our decision.

If our emotional decision was to help, then the specific request hits our logic and seals the deal.

How can you be specific? That’s the topic for tomorrow. Let what I talked about today sink in, and you’ll be ready to pull it all together.