Relationship building « All Things Networking

Posts Tagged ‘Relationship building’

Your Changing Networking Needs

Friday, May 6th, 2011

It’s likely that your networking needs will change over time. Perhaps you were looking for a job and landed it. Or your business has grown over time and you are targeting a different market. Situations like this can lead to you needing to reevaluate your networking goals and sometimes your groups and venues.

It’s not a comfortable decision to leave a group, but it might be the right thing to do.

First, you need to be certain about your decision. Look at the contacts you need. Is this group or venue providing them? If not, check your message. What are you asking for? Have you changed your message? If not, try that first. Maybe your group didn’t realize your needs have changed.

If a change of message doesn’t work, it might be time to leave. You need to be careful. The group may not meet your needs, but you have built relationships, and you don’t want to lose them.

Consider what you say when you leave. Telling them they can’t introduce you to the right people might sound harsh. You might want to look at phrasing it a different way. It might be prudent to give a more complete explanation to key people and send a more general message to the group as a whole.

The most important time is right after you leave. If there are relationships you want to maintain, it’s your responsibility to reach out. The group will likely move on to the next new member, and without any malicious intent, you will slip in their thoughts. Identify the key relationships you want to continue and look for ways to stay in touch. Referrals are always good. Keep referring someone, and he or she will be happy to stay in contact.

Moving on from a group can be done, if you are careful and sensitive. Do it well, and you’ll keep them in your network. Do it badly and you’ll burn bridges you might need later.

Tweet This Post

Tags: communication, Giving, Networking Groups, Relationship building
Posted in Networking | Comments Off

It’s About the Relationship, Not the Sale

Monday, February 21st, 2011

One of my clients forwarded me an email last week, and it was a good example of a common mistake sales people make.

He’d met the young lady at a networking event, and she followed up with a (very thinly disguised) request for a sales presentation. Oh, it was gussied up as “I’ll evaluate your existing plan, and if it’s good, you’ll at least know that” kind of offer, but we all know what that means, right? The real kicker? A specific date, time and location suggestion for the meeting. Folks, in case you don’t know, in an unsolicited email, that’s always a sign that you’re going to be sold something.

I actually don’t fault the young lady. I know her industry, and this is what she’s been taught to do. She’s been taught to view everyone she meets as a potential client. Hopefully, she’ll survive long enough to learn some better strategies.

What’s a better way? Easy, view everyone you meet as someone who can open doors for you. Set up meetings to learn about another person, how you might refer each other and to get a feel for who they know. Then you can ask for introductions.

If you speak with passion and knowledge about how you help your clients and who you like to work with, and the person you are meeting with needs your services, he or she will likely ask about working with you. The important thing is that you’ve given the space to self-select. If they don’t need you, no problem. At best, you’ve found a good referral source. At worst, you’ve left a good impression.

So in case you still haven’t heard me, it’s about the relationship. Not the sale. Relationships will lead to sales. Sales don’t always lead to relationships. You need both to survive.

Tweet This Post

Tags: communication, Networking, Relationship building, reputation
Posted in Networking | Comments Off

Who To Refer?

Wednesday, February 16th, 2011

I recently heard something very disappointing at a networking event.

Three of us were talking. For ease of writing this, we’ll call the other two people Jim and Jane. Jim expressed a real need for a service. I knew Jane had a good relationship with someone (Bob) who offered that service and I turned to her and said, “I’m sure you’ve already referred Bob to Jim.”

People, this should have been a no-brainer, and I was so certain Bob had been referred that I almost didn’t say anything. Good thing I did. Because Jane said, “Oh, Bob isn’t in my networking group anymore.”

Don’t worry. Bob did get the referral, but I kind of felt like I was guilting Jane into it.

So what’s up with this? If someone provides a good service does it matter if you’re not in the same networking group anymore? Remember that networking is about building relationships. Relationships last (or should) no matter what group you belong to.

The situation would have been different if Jane had said, “No, I didn’t refer Bob because someone new in that position has joined my group, and I referred her instead.” That would have been fine. At least someone would have been referred.

But to hear about a need, know someone who can fulfill it and say nothing? That’s counter to every principle of good networking.

This must be a common problem because I’ve had so many people tell me, “When I left that group, I never heard from any of the members again.” Regular networking meetings are a way to stay in touch. They aren’t the only way.

You want people to remember and refer you, no matter what group they are in, right? Then stay in touch with everyone in your network, no matter what groups you do or do not share.

Tweet This Post

Tags: Giving, Networking, Networking Groups, Referrals, Relationship building
Posted in Referrals | 3 Comments »

Relationships and Blogging

Wednesday, December 15th, 2010

On Monday, I had a phone chat with Ari Herzog. We were talking about social media and relationship building (among other things).

He got me to thinking about my strongest relationships on social media. Not surprisingly, my strongest relationships continue to be people I see in person on some regular basis. @beyourboss, @ccooks3, and @paulineleitch are good examples. Check out my @Mention stream. Those three feature prominently. Also look at who I RT. Again, those three are prominent.

But thinking about other relationships I have on-line, there are a few people I do not see in person frequently with whom I consider to have a good relationship. Interestingly, they share blogs in common.

Ari is one. Jason Alba is another. I’ve offered to help both of them in the past, and, interesting timing, I’ve had or will have phone conversations with both of them this week. I don’t consider the relationships as strong as with the three I mentioned above, but they are certainly good.

Let me think of some people I have a Twitter-only relationship with. Ken Peters and I tweet back and forth about stuff, but it’s all reactive. I think he recognizes my handle, and I’m working on a potential referral for him, but I wouldn’t exactly say we have a real relationship. Thom Singer and Gabriel Strange would be other examples. We’ve tweeted back and forth, but that’s about it. They both have blogs, but I don’t read or comment on them as often.

Why are blogs important? I think it’s because you have more space to write, which gives you a better feel for a person. Commenting on blogs gives you more space to delve into an issue. Ari and I have (politely) argued points on each others blogs, and that gives a (somewhat) deeper understanding of each other. About a month ago, I was sensing some frustration on Ari’s part, both in his own blog, and in comments on mine, and that prompted me to reach out in an email and offer to help.

Could I have gotten that through Twitter or Facebook? Maybe, but I don’t sense as much emotion through those channels.

Obviously, I’m not advocating not using them. I love Twitter and am on it most days. I’m building and deepening relationships there, but the best relationships, for me, are ones that go beyond Twitter.

So it seems to me that social media relationships fall into the following categories-strongest to weakest:

1. Social media and in-person
2. Social media and blogs
3. Social media (not including blogs) alone

Anyone want to disagree with me? I’m only one person, and I do have a bias toward in-person relationships. Feel free to chime in and tell me I’m nuts!

Tweet This Post

Tags: blogging, Relationship building, social media
Posted in social media | 7 Comments »

BNI Isn’t Networking

Wednesday, December 8th, 2010

I’m expecting some flack on this post, and I’m ready. Bring it on!

Before I start, let me say that I was a member of BNI for 5 years, and I still recommend people join chapters. It’s a great way for some people to grow their business.

For those of you who don’t know what BNI is, quickly, it’s an international organization of chapters of business people who meet weekly with the goal of referring business to each other. Follow the link above if you want more information.

But it doesn’t really teach networking.

What it is VERY good at is teaching how to do business by referral, which is a part of networking, but there’s more to networking than referrals, and some of what you learn in BNI can actually hurt someone who is new at networking.

What, you may ask?

1. BNI encourages closed-group referrals

BNI chapters are made up of individuals, with one person per profession. Members are strongly encouraged to refer the members of their chapter. So, if one of your clients is looking to buy a house, you are supposed to refer the real estate agent in your chapter.

Why is this a problem? Because the agent in your chapter might not be the best fit for your client. In networking, you want to make the best connections to develop a relationship. BNI has systems in place that make it difficult for members to refer outside their chapters.

2. BNI encourages keeping score

Keith Ferrazzi in his book, Never Eat Alone, says, in networking we shouldn’t keep score. And I agree with him. There are people I refer without hesitation who have never referred me back. They make me look good with my clients, which is good for business. But BNI chapters usually have some method of tracking who is referring and bringing guests and who is not. Because of the score keeping, members often feel pressured to refer the members of their chapter, fearing that otherwise they won’t be referred in return. When I was still in BNI, I heard members frequently say, “I’ve referred so-and-so lots of times, but he still hasn’t referred me. I’m not going to refer him anymore.”

That’s not good networking.

3. BNI members tend to network too much within BNI

Although BNI says they encourage members to network outside BNI, many members don’t. They visit all the local chapters, one at a time, and say “I’m doing a lot of networking.” When I ask, “Are you giving and receiving referrals?” the answer often is, “No, but I’m having lots of one on one meetings.”

Yep. That’s effective.

4. BNI has a huge focus on inviting guests to chapters

This is probably my biggest pet peeve. BNI members who don’t quite get it attend other events like sharks, looking for members to invite to their home chapter. Often they pop the invitation without asking anything about the other person. It’s almost like the sales person who walks up to you at an event and says, “You need to hire me,” without knowing anything about you or your business.

Networking is about meeting new people and building relationships. That doesn’t happen when members cruise other events looking for “fresh meat.”

As I said earlier, BNI is an excellent place to learn the basics of doing business by referral. If you are considering BNI, by all means investigate your local chapters and see if one might be a good fit for you. But don’t think that BNI is networking and fall into the trap of just working BNI. There’s a lot more to effective networking than attending an endless series of BNI chapter meetings.

Anyone want to agree or disagree?

Tweet This Post

Tags: BNI, Networking, Networking Groups, Referrals, Relationship building
Posted in Networking Groups | 11 Comments »

Posts Tagged ‘Relationship building’

Tags!