I hear a lot of elevator speeches where people use “you” language. For example, “A good referral for me today would be people just like you.” Or, “How many of you have [fill in the blank problem].”

While there’s nothing inherently wrong with this, it’s not the most effective approach. We don’t like being sold to, especially when the person doesn’t yet know much (or anything) about us. And if you use this approach, and I don’t fit your “you” statement, you’ve effectively given me permission to ignore you. Remember that the elevator speech is a marketing tool, not a sales tool, so why not structure your message to encourage people to refer you.

How? Replace your “you” statement with a “Who do you know who” statement. That statement encourages people to think about possible referrals, and if I happen to fit the criteria, it allows me to self-select to approach you to find out more about what you do and if I might want to refer myself to you.

It’s a much softer approach and will get you potentially more business. What’s not to like?

I’ve probably been way too cute for my own good with that title. But did it get your attention?

Two days ago, I talked about the dangers of using “you” in an elevator speech. Today I want to talk about when and how to use “I” vs. “we” in your speech.

I get this question frequently. Someone wants to make their company sound bigger than a one-man operation so they want to use “we” in their speech. Something like this:

“At 1 to 1 Discovery we offer networking coaching services to our small business clients.”

I’ve been accused of being a multiple personality before, but even that doesn’t give me the right to say “we” offer services. 1 to 1 Discovery is a one-woman operation, and it’s going to stay that way for a long time. So if I use “we,” I’m being deceptive, which makes it much harder to get over the “know, like and trust hurdle.

I was teaching a class earlier this week, and someone asked me about “I” vs. “we.” She markets a product. I asked her if she was the person who made the product. She said she was but that currently her mother helped out. And in the future, she plans to outsource the production. I told her it was okay for her to say “we make” in reference to her products. Is it stretching the truth a bit? Yes, but it’s not outright deception. In her case, it’s the business way of dressing for the job she wants, not the one she has.

What about when you ask for a referral? Do you say “please refer someone to me” or “please refer someone to us?”

It depends. Most of the time I recommend using “me” in that instance. It doesn’t matter how big your company is. Most people are referring you. You are the one they have built the relationship with. Honor that relationship by asking people to refer you.

But what if you are in, say, an administrative role in the company? You may be out networking on behalf of the organization, but you aren’t going to be the point person for new clients. Then go ahead and say “please refer us.” You may be the person handing out the card. A referral might call or email you directly, but then you’ll be handing the referral off to the right person in your company. Asking to refer “us” sets that expectation.

I hope these two posts have been helpful to sort through pronouns in your elevator speech.

And you thought the hard part was standing up in front of a group of people for 30 seconds?

Pronouns are tricky things, and when and how to use them in elevator speeches is important. No, I’m not giving you a grammar lesson, but instead discussing how pronoun usage affects how people react to your speech.

I’ll be splitting this one over two days. Today, I’ll tackle “you.” Tomorrow I’ll discuss when you use “I” vs. “we.”

It’s very tempting to use “you” in an elevator speech. You are talking to a group of people, and you probably want to attract some of them as potential customers. But we resent being sold to uninvited and using “you” in a speech can come across that way.

Let me show you why. Take the following example:

“Hi, I’m Juli and I offer business services. I’m looking to work with people just like you, so if what I say interests you, please come talk to me later.”

Before you say that’s unrealistic, understand that I have heard speeches using that exact formula. It’s not wrong, exactly, and if there’s a good story there, someone might respond by asking “tell me more.” But it does sound like the speaker is trying to sell the group, which may leave some feeling uncomfortable. It also subtly discourages the audience from thinking of referrals for the speaker. The use of “you” sends us down the following thought process:

Do I need this product or service?
If yes, I might ask to learn more
If no, I’m done.

There’s nothing there that makes me think about finding a referral for the speaker. Let’s say this speech was given to a room of 20 people. That’s 20 potential clients. But the rule of thumb is that everyone knows at least 250-300 people on a first name basis. Why not structure your speech so it has the potential of attracting 5,000-6,000 potential clients?

Second example:

“Hi, I’m Juli, and I offer coaching services. I’m looking to work with small business owners who need to use social media more effectively. Who do you know who owns a restaurant or small retail business looking for more walk-in traffic? Please refer them to me.”

See the difference? The only place I used “you” was in the “who do you know” question. If someone in the audience fits my category, he or she can self-select to speak to me. But I’ve made it clear that I’m looking to work through the people in the room to get to their referrals.

This structure opens myself up to many more potential clients than using the “you” structure.

Make sense? Have you been using “you” statements in your elevator speech? Thinking you might change that?

Tune in tomorrow for when to use “I” or “we” in an elevator speech.