I recently tried to read 4 Hour Workweek by Tim Ferris. I really wanted to like the book. Many people have said good things about it, and I was interested in the idea behind the book. (Who wouldn’t be?)

However, I couldn’t get into it. Why? Because the messenger and the delivery got in the way of the message. I found the author obnoxious. His stories, while entertaining, were not getting me closer to the answer. Ironic, since one of his main points was to do more in less time. I felt his stories were wasting my time.

But enough about Tim and his book. The point of this post is not to trash him. But look at what I felt. His message might be good, but his delivery was in the way.

Think back to a time you were trying to communicate something. Did the person get it? If not, might there have been a problem with how it was communicated?

Another example. I was reviewing a marketing message for a healthy food product. The packaging told me lots about what the product wasn’t. Gluten free. No dairy. No trans-fats, etc. What was lacking? Did it taste good? Is it smooth? Will it melt like cheese? They didn’t tell me any of those things. For all I knew, it was healthy but tasted like cardboard. I think the message was supposed to be healthy and just like cheese, but that was lost in their delivery.

Here’s one more. Have you ever been oversold by a salesperson who doesn’t know when to shut up. You were ready to write the check or hand over the money, but he wouldn’t stop, so you gave up and left.

These are all examples of when the message was lost in the delivery.

What can you do? To be persuasive, everything has to be in sync. Your message needs to be good. Your tone of voice, posture and words chosen need to advance your goal and be in line with your message.

Let’s look again at the examples above. What could have been done differently.

Well, Tim could have gotten to his point quicker and made his book less about him and more about what’s in it for the reader.

The food ad could have said something like “Tastes like cheese!”

And the salesperson could have listened more, talked less and shut up when you indicated you were sold.

See how it works? Think carefully before sending your next message to be certain your audience hears what you intended and not something else.

Anyone else have a message delivery story to share?

I was at a large trade show recently, where I was selling copies of my networking book. (Yes, I do have a book published. Why haven’t you heard all about it before now? Because it’s not yet available to purchase online. Soon my publisher will get it live, and I’ll post relevant links here. Until then, email me for information on how to get a copy.)

Ahem. Anyway.

Lots of people were offering me well-intentioned advice on what I needed to do to sell my book. Some of it was good. Some not so good. But almost all of it was offered in a tone that implied that I didn’t know what I was doing.

Yes, I am new to published authorship, but I’ve also done a lot of research and planning to lead up to this. I’m sure no one intended to make me feel like an idiot, but a couple did come across that way. (If you’re reading this blog and were at the event, I doubt I’m speaking about you.)

Of course, I was polite to everyone, but it made me think about advice and how we often offer it.

The last time you offered advice, did you inquire first if the advice was welcomed? Did you approach it like, “Have you thought about this?” or did you just come out and say, “You need to do this.”

Advice can be great. It’s also often worth exactly what we paid for it (usually nothing). If you’ve made some mistakes or been in a similar situation before, yes, you may have something to offer. But remember to assume the person you’re advising has already thought things through. Ask some questions before blurting out your advice. Maybe learn what someone’s plan is, then offer improvements to the plan.

After an entire day full of “You need to do this!” I’m giving some real thought to being more aware of what advice I offer and how I offer it. I really don’t want other people to walk away feeling, “Juli thinks I’m an idiot.”

How about you? How do you like to offer advice? How do you like to receive it?

Salespeople hate gatekeepers, and for good reason. The gatekeeper is there to keep the (seemingly) endless stream of salespeople from wasting the time of the business owners and other decision makers.Which makes it much harder for the salesperson to get in and do his job.

But what if the gatekeepers do their jobs too well and keep away the people who can help move your business forward?

I was meeting with a contact the other day, and she told me an interesting story about a salesperson and a gatekeeper. The salesperson was introducing himself to the gatekeeper who said, “No, we have no interest in what you are selling.”

The business owner happened through the room at that moment and stopped to say, “Actually, dealing with that problem is on my list for today. I’d like to hear what you have to say.”

This could have been trouble. The salesperson would have lost the opportunity to present his service to a willing audience, and the business owner might have missed an opportunity to address an issue in her business.

Now, as a business owner, obviously you don’t want to talk to every salesperson who walks in the door, so your gatekeeper does serve an important function. How do you ensure that you meet the people who might be able to help you and avoid the people who can’t?

Communication. Keep your gatekeeper in the loop on some of the high level challenges you are facing. No, you don’t have to mention that payroll might be tight this month, but if you’re swearing at your long distance service, make sure your gatekeeper knows that.

Perhaps you could give him or her a list at the beginning of each month of services you are interested in exploring. Train your gatekeeper to ask a few key questions to learn a bit about a salesperson and what is being offered.

Want to really motivate them to do a good job? If you save money by hiring someone the gatekeeper vetted, give your gatekeeper a bonus, perhaps a percentage of the money you saved. Think your gatekeeper will do a good job keeping out the riff raff and letting the good ones through? I think so!

Anyone else have good gatekeeper stories to share?