Think about the last time you were in a new relationship. You met someone new, perhaps at a party. You spoke for a few minutes, learning enough about each other to decide if it was worth getting together again. You decided it was, so you planned a meeting, perhaps over lunch or coffee.
Before the meeting, you wondered. Would it work out? Do we have anything in common? Will we want to get together again?
The meeting happened. Conversation flowed. You find that you have a lot in common. It was a lot of fun. Let’s do it again, you both say. And, oh, by the way, here are some referrals I can work on for you.
Referrals? Did you think I was describing a first date? Well, in a way, I was. A first meeting to build a business relationship can look very much like a first date. Neither of you know quite what to expect. What can you bring each other? Will you like each other? Will you have enough in common to deepen and develop the relationship?
And that’s where dating tends to get it right and networking gets it wrong. Deepening the relationship.
A lot of people get out there to meet people, perhaps schedule a single follow-up meeting and then expect that referrals will just happen. Perhaps by magic. But when we date, do we meet just the one time? No. If there is good chemistry, we meet again and again, learning more each time.
Business relationships also need that kind of nurturing. If you aren’t first in your network’s mind, you won’t be the person to get the referrals. Remember that relationships are like flowers. Or pets. They need the proper care and feeding. If not maintained appropriately, they wither and die.
And remember that business relationships, like personal ones, have to be two-way. Of course we are all busy. We all have distractions. But our relationships are what feed our business and our souls. If they are only one-way, they don’t last.
So there’s the problem. What’s the solution? Watch this space. Over the next several days, I am going to offer some suggestions to keep the relationships solid.
Tags: Relationship building