Yesterday I looked at some of the psychology behind the elevator speech and why the elements work the way they do in the order I suggest.

Today I want to focus on the psychology behind asking and how you can increase your odds that someone will respond with something you want.

Most people say either “If you know someone who needs my services, please hand over my card” or “A good referral for me today is…”

Neither of these are particularly effective. (Don’t believe me? Try them sometime and see what happens.) The first one does have a call to action (hand over my card), but asking for “someone who needs my services” is vague and not specific.

Remember that our natural inclination is to do nothing. It’s not fair, but it’s how most people act. Taking risks is…well…risky, and we don’t like to fail. As children, we’re taught to do the safe things, and the safest thing is often to do nothing. So if you are vague in what you ask for, we’ll default to doing nothing. Oh, we might say, “Sure, we’ll keep you in mind,” but more than likely 5 minutes later, you’re forgotten.

So you need to force us to think. Right here. Right now. Which is why “A good referral for me today” has part of it right. The “today” part. That gives a sense of urgency to thinking about it now. But you leave us with the question of “Is is still a good referral tomorrow?” Which gives us permission to ignore the request tomorrow and the day after. Still not what you want, right?

Frustrated yet? Don’t be. If you’ve followed the structure, you’re half way to getting what you want.

Remember how I talked about the importance of stories? Stories stick with us if they evoke an emotional reaction. You will remember an emotional reaction for a long time. It might be associated with what you were eating, smelling or feeling when the emotion is triggered. Emotions get fixed in us and can be re-triggered easily later. So the story will be valid tomorrow and the next day in the way that “A good referral today” won’t be.

Follow the story up with something to make us think, and you’ve probably got us. It makes the emotional trigger sink in deeper.

You make us think by asking for something specific. Remember the buy cycle? We make a decision with our emotions and then justify it logically. Well, the story helped us make an emotional decision. We either believe the story and want to help or we don’t. But we want to help. We really do, deep down. So that specific request, if it also triggers an emotional reaction, might shift our decision.

If our emotional decision was to help, then the specific request hits our logic and seals the deal.

How can you be specific? That’s the topic for tomorrow. Let what I talked about today sink in, and you’ll be ready to pull it all together.

Tags: communication, Elevator Speech, Referrals, Triggers

This entry was posted on Thursday, April 15th, 2010 at 10:16 am and is filed under Referrals. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.