Today I finish (for now) my series on making us care about you so we are more likely to refer you.
The last topic was certainly hinted at in previous posts, but I want to pull it together as a close to the series.
Referring is not a skill we are born with. We have to learn it. And then once we learn it, we have to work to maintain it. Some people can be standing (metaphorically speaking) next to a referral and never see it. Others can identify a referral from minimal clues when speaking with someone. What’s the difference? The person who sees referrals everywhere has developed a referral mindset. Referring is something that is always present for these people.
You can think of it sort of like being a multiple personality, but not in a bad way. The people in your network are always with you, sitting in the back of your mind. They have given you clues–things to look or listen for–and those clues are present. When someone triggers one of those clues, that person in the back of your mind “raises” a hand and says “that’s for me.”
Don’t tell your therapist that I described it that way, please.
How do you develop this skill? Like any other skill you want to learn, you’ll need training wheels at first. A solid contact management system is the key tool you’ll use. It doesn’t have to be fancy (or expensive). Notes in your paper or electronic Rolodex are a good start. Attached to each of your contacts is a note. When you meet with someone, ask the question “how can I identify a good referral for you?” or “who are good sources of referrals for you?” Add that information into your notes.
Periodically review your notes, looking for matches between your contacts and who they want to meet. Over time, you’ll have your contacts and their wants firmly enough in mind that it will seem like they are speaking to you and saying “Yep! That’s a referral for me.”
Does this take time? Of course. But it is time well spent because the more you help others, the more motivated they will be to help you.
Anyone have techniques you use to hone your referral mindset? Please share them in the comments.
Tags: Giving, Referrals, Relationship building, reputation