This seems to be my year to find insight in the most unlikely books.
Over the weekend, I read Just a Geek by Wil Wheaton (@wilw).
Wow! That was a lot of links in one paragraph.
Anyway, back to your regularly scheduled blog post. What does a book by an ex-Star Trek actor have to do with networking? Glad you asked!
One of the things he talks about in his book is his blogging. At the time, he was going through a very rough patch. His acting career was going nowhere, and he was trying to prove to himself and others that leaving Star Trek hadn’t been a huge mistake.
This “Prove to the World that Leaving Star Trek Wasn’t a Huge Mistake” side of him wanted to make his blog sound like everything was great, even when it wasn’t. He included a few examples of those posts. They were funny. But they didn’t ring quite right.
Every so often, something would happen, and the real Wil Wheaton would show up in the blog. He’d write frankly about things that weren’t going so well.
Which posts do you think had the most reads and responses? Yep, the honest ones.
Which is an excellent reminder for those of us who network. The temptation is there when people ask, “How’s it going?” to say, “Oh, great.” Even when it’s not. But there’s nothing wrong with showing a little honest vulnerability. No, I’m not suggesting you go around with a dark cloud and “Everything sucks” attitude. But sometimes we want to help the underdog. Showing a bit of vulnerability can motivate us to help more.
Think of it this way. If you tell us “business is great!” we might think, “Okay, he doesn’t need any help or referrals.” But telling us, “I’ve got some potentials brewing, but I’m not quite where I want to be” sends the clear message that we can help you get the rest of the way.
A lot of networking is working with, not against, human inclinations. We love to help others who aren’t doing so well. It makes us feel good, and it lets us think, “Whew! Someone else’s life isn’t perfect either!”
So work with us, not against us. Let us see you as someone who needs and is deserving of a little help. We’ll work harder on your behalf, which is what you want, right?
Not bad for a book by an ex-Star Trek actor. By the way, if you haven’t read it (or his blog), do so. Wil Wheaton is easily one of the funniest guys I’ve ever read. And he gives us some life lessons as an added bonus. Pretty good deal, I think.
Tags: blogging, communication, Networking, Relationship building
As tough as the economy has been the last few years, I’d be suspicious of anyone who said they weren’t at least a little bit anxious, let alone took a hit on revenues.
All this goes back to building relationships. How can I really establish something with someone when they strive to show me everything’s perfect all the time? Doesn’t happen that way! When someone shows me she’s human, be it due to losing some revenue, or just stressing out because things feel so uncertain, I feel closer to that individual for sharing her vulnerability with me. And who knows…if she shares something with me, maybe I can point her to the solution.