Of course, this is in honor of Halloween! A reprint of a newsletter article I did a couple of years ago.
Come on. Be honest with yourself. You’ve seen this person before.
He (or she) is the one you go out of your way to avoid at a networking event. He runs up to everyone who doesn’t run away first, stack of cards in hand, practically shoving one at everyone whose hand is free, and even those whose aren’t. He talks all about himself and the wonderfulness of himself and his company. He doesn’t ask a single question about you. Not even the most basic one, “What’s your name?”
And what do you do with his card? Throw it away, of course! Why would you keep the card of someone who doesn’t understand the first thing about building business relationships?
Don’t be a networking horror! Networking is not about collecting the most business cards. Or the most connections on LinkedIn.
Networking is about building relationships. Strong relationships that last. It’s not and can’t be about keeping score or acquiring the most contacts. How likely is the networking horror to build a relationship with you or anyone else? Not likely. First impressions really do matter, and that first impression is not good.
So what should you do instead when you meet new contacts? How do you get them to take your card and want to meet with you again?
It’s very simple. Who is the person we most want to talk about? Ourselves! So if you want to develop a reputation as a great conversationalist and generally cool person to be around, use your ears, not your mouth. Ask your new contact what he or she does. And pay attention to the answers. Listen for needs. Everyone is standing in the middle of a referral. The key is recognizing them. When you hear a need, think about whether you know someone who can answer it. Is your contact looking for a vendor? For home renovations? For a mentor? If you can provide an answer to the need, you are beginning a relationship that can last a business lifetime.
Not hearing a need? Not a problem. Here’s a great question: “How can I recognize a good client for you?” You might need to probe for the answer. Since we don’t get asked that question often, if ever, we don’t always know how to answer it. But if you can take that information and use it to find a client, you have assured yourself a permanent place in their address book, and maybe even on speed dial.
Okay, so collecting good karma is all well and good, but what’s in it for you? If the person gets it even a little bit, he will give you the opportunity to talk about yourself. And perhaps even give you the opening to educate on how to find a good client for you.
And that transforms you from a contact-sucking vampire into a superhero. Way better!
Tags: Giving, Networking, Referrals, Relationship building
Good stuff! I had an attorney SHOVE her business card into my hand last week. I didn’t even wait until I got home to trash it.
People really are impressed when you ask them who their ideal client is. It’s a different sort of question, and folks definitely remember you for asking it.
As a retired investigator, I learned to listen FIRST. Don’t interrupt, just let the thread run itself out, because you never know what you’ll learn. And it’s so true in business networking as well. Just listen first.