Archive for April, 2010

Psychology Behind Asking for Referrals

Thursday, April 15th, 2010

Yesterday I looked at some of the psychology behind the elevator speech and why the elements work the way they do in the order I suggest.

Today I want to focus on the psychology behind asking and how you can increase your odds that someone will respond with something you want.

Most people say either “If you know someone who needs my services, please hand over my card” or “A good referral for me today is…”

Neither of these are particularly effective. (Don’t believe me? Try them sometime and see what happens.) The first one does have a call to action (hand over my card), but asking for “someone who needs my services” is vague and not specific.

Remember that our natural inclination is to do nothing. It’s not fair, but it’s how most people act. Taking risks is…well…risky, and we don’t like to fail. As children, we’re taught to do the safe things, and the safest thing is often to do nothing. So if you are vague in what you ask for, we’ll default to doing nothing. Oh, we might say, “Sure, we’ll keep you in mind,” but more than likely 5 minutes later, you’re forgotten.

So you need to force us to think. Right here. Right now. Which is why “A good referral for me today” has part of it right. The “today” part. That gives a sense of urgency to thinking about it now. But you leave us with the question of “Is is still a good referral tomorrow?” Which gives us permission to ignore the request tomorrow and the day after. Still not what you want, right?

Frustrated yet? Don’t be. If you’ve followed the structure, you’re half way to getting what you want.

Remember how I talked about the importance of stories? Stories stick with us if they evoke an emotional reaction. You will remember an emotional reaction for a long time. It might be associated with what you were eating, smelling or feeling when the emotion is triggered. Emotions get fixed in us and can be re-triggered easily later. So the story will be valid tomorrow and the next day in the way that “A good referral today” won’t be.

Follow the story up with something to make us think, and you’ve probably got us. It makes the emotional trigger sink in deeper.

You make us think by asking for something specific. Remember the buy cycle? We make a decision with our emotions and then justify it logically. Well, the story helped us make an emotional decision. We either believe the story and want to help or we don’t. But we want to help. We really do, deep down. So that specific request, if it also triggers an emotional reaction, might shift our decision.

If our emotional decision was to help, then the specific request hits our logic and seals the deal.

How can you be specific? That’s the topic for tomorrow. Let what I talked about today sink in, and you’ll be ready to pull it all together.

Psychology Behind Elevator Speeches

Wednesday, April 14th, 2010

Last month I did a post on elevator speeches, and I gave a basic structure for an effective speech and broke down the various parts.

I taught a class on this subject earlier this week, and we talked about the psychology behind some of the elements, and I wanted to go into some greater detail on that here.

The Story

Always remember that we buy with our emotions and then justify our decision with logic. We also make buying decisions very quickly, which is why the 30-second speech is so important. No one will make a buying decision from your speech, and you’re not expecting them to. What you can expect is that they will want to hear more.

A story is going to get a “tell me more” reaction more often than a list of services. A story will allow us to make connections between you and people we know who might relate to your story. And a story can show you are good at what you do, far more effectively than telling us you’re great.

Specific Request for Referral

Someone in the class asked me if it was okay to ask for the referral first. I said no. Why?

Back to psychology. We decide with our emotions and justify with logic. A request for a referral is an appeal to logic. Putting it before the emotion reverses the buy cycle and makes us less likely to listen and ask “tell me more.”

Is This Manipulation?

Sales psychology is considered manipulative, and often, it is. Closing techniques are almost always intended to coerce someone into “buying now” or buying something they might not want or need.

What I’m talking about isn’t manipulation. As long as your story is true (or, in the case of a brand-new business owner with no clients yet, plausible) and your referral request is for someone you really can help, there’s no manipulation going on.

What I am advocating for is working with our inclinations and ways of making decisions rather than working against us. We’ll feel more comfortable with you, even if we don’t know why. And if we are comfortable, we’re more likely to refer you.

Make sense?

Tomorrow I’ll talk about the psychology behind how you ask for that referral.

Twitter Lists Are Your Friend

Tuesday, April 13th, 2010

I was meeting with one of my clients last week and suggesting people he should follow. He didn’t want to take my recommendations because he didn’t care about what some of the people were tweeting about.

The reality is that you probably won’t be interested in what the majority of your followers tweet about. But there are some people you really are interested in. And once the list of people you follow gets beyond 100 or so, your main Twitter stream becomes little more than noise.

How do you keep track of the cool people while not wasting your time with the non-so-cool?

That’s where Twitter lists come in. (By the way, for those of you on Facebook, you can do similar things by grouping your friends.)

Twitter lists do two things.

1. They can be used to promote people.

2. They can be used to screen the posts you really want to read.

Promoting people on lists is easy. Look at the people you follow and pay attention to the ones who consistently generate high-quality content. Group them in some logical way (social media, celebrities, restaurants, etc.) and create a list. If you make it public, other people can follow the list as well and see who you think are good.

But lists can also be used as a time management tool. Again, look at the people you follow and see who you want to pay attention to. Whose tweets do you want to make sure you don’t miss? Add them to a list. Add those lists as a column in your Twitter client, and when you check in, read those tweets first. Then, if you have time, check your main stream.

You do want to check the main stream periodically. That’s how you find new people to add to your lists. Once or twice a week is okay if that’s all the time you have for it.

What are some good list ideas?

Friends
People you meet at networking events
Social media experts
Networking experts
People who tweet about your hobbies
Clients

That’s just a start. The lists of people you follow can be public or private, depending on the nature of the list (and whether you want to admit publicly to liking, say, late-80s TV shows).

Anyone else have some lists they created and follow? Share them in the comments, please, along with your twitter handle so we can follow them too.

Twitter Followers Ratio

Monday, April 12th, 2010

New users of Twitter have been confused by the rise of celebrities on Twitter. I say confused because the new users think the secret to success is being followed by more people than they follow.

That is true if you are Ashton Kutcher. It’s not true if you are a mom and pop retail business.

Why? Because Ashton Kutcher has name recognition. People follow him because they know his name and because the media told everyone to follow him.

I suspect that if you are reading this blog, you don’t have that kind of name recognition. If I’m wrong, please let me know in the comments, so I too can gain recognition by one degree of separation from a celebrity!

Ahem. I digress. Anyway, if you aren’t famous (yet), you need to attract a following the other direction, by following a lot of people. Rule of thumb is that 30-50% of the people you follow will follow you back. That’s why all the “get more followers fast” services do work.

The problem is that those services don’t get you followers who want to build a relationship with you. You can do something similar and get a good following by targeting people to follow.

Who should you target?

1. Everyone you know. These people are almost guaranteed to follow you back. And they will be likely to interact and promote you.

2. Followers of your competitors. They are already interested in what you do or they wouldn’t be following someone in your industry. Follow them and provide good content so they follow you back and keep following you. Who knows? Do it better than your competition, and they may keep following you and unfollow them. Not a bad deal, eh?

3. Your competition. They may not follow you back, but that’s okay. Knowing what they are up to can give you ideas and let you know what you need to do to beat them at the social media game.

4. People you meet while networking. You may not know them very well now, but you can build a relationship with them on Twitter and then you will know them well.

A good starting ratio is 3:1 where you are following 3 times the number of people you want following you. Make your initial goal reasonable. Aim for 100 followers, so you need to follow 300 quickly. Over time, your numbers will grow as you meet new people and produce quality content that your followers promote. And your ratio will drop closer to the 1:1 ratio which is manageable for most small business owners.

I know what you’re going to ask next. How do I keep up with all those followers so I can promote and engage with them?

That’s the topic for tomorrow’s post: Twitter Lists are your friends.

Getting a Meeting With a Prospect Who Doesn’t Know He Needs You

Friday, April 9th, 2010

Yesterday, I wrote about my client and his meeting where he was treated as just another prospect.

Today I wanted to write about how you can get a meeting with a potential prospect, even if he doesn’t know he needs your services. And have it be a good meeting where everyone gets something of value.

This happened to me earlier this week. I was given the contact information of “someone who needs my services.” The problem was my contact hadn’t had a chance to talk to the person about me. This was almost a cold call.

As tempting as it was to send an email that said, “Hi, my friend says that you really need a good elevator speech and that you should talk to me,” that probably wouldn’t have gotten me the meeting.

So I took this approach instead in email:

Dear John (not his real name),

[My friend] mentioned that he met you a few weeks ago and that you are a new AFLAC agent. I’m a networking coach, and I work with small business owners, some of whom might be good potential clients for you. If you’re interested, I’d very much like to have coffee with you to learn more about you. I’ve been looking for a good AFLAC person to refer for some time now.

Do you have time to meet in the next couple of weeks?

Completely true. If we had met and he had indicated no interest in working with me, both of us would have come away with something of value. I would have had a new person to refer, and he would have a new source of referrals. Win-Win.

As it happened, he did recognize that he needs my services, and we are currently working out the details.

No matter what business you are in, you can work a similar scenario. Find a win-win approach, and use that as the way to initiate the contact. Treat the “prospect” as a potential referral source or find some other way of adding value to the meeting, and people will be happy to meet with you.

And often will buy your product or services!

How Not to Waste Time With a One on One Meeting

Thursday, April 8th, 2010

A client yesterday complained at some length about a meeting he had the day before which turned out to be a complete waste of his time. The more I heard, the more mistakes I uncovered. Let me discuss them so you don’t make them and waste your time.

Briefly, the story of the meeting. My client had met the other person at a networking event and promptly forgot her. A few weeks later she called him out of the blue, and he agreed to the meeting. When he got to her office, she proceeded to give him a scripted sales presentation about her services. Experienced networkers will not be surprised to learn that she is a brand new insurance salesperson.

How many mistakes did you recognize in the story? Let’s go through them and see if you saw them all.

1. He agreed to a meeting without an agenda

His biggest mistake might not have been obvious from the story. I had to ask a few questions to uncover it. He agreed to a meeting without a clear idea of the agenda. Never agree to a meeting without knowing why you are there.

He could have asked a few more questions and perhaps uncovered her real goal. Whenever I propose a meeting, I am clear with an objective, which I communicate to the other person. Once in a while, someone requests a meeting with me and isn’t clear. At that point, I have two choices. I don’t agree to the meeting, or I agree with the goal of indulging my curiosity. I’ve been able to turn those meetings into prospecting opportunities, but my business allows that. His does not.

Bottom line. Unless you have time to waste, don’t agree to a meeting without a clear, mutually agreed upon agenda. If the meeting then goes in an undesirable direction, you have a legitimate reason to end it.

2. He met with someone he didn’t remember meeting

You won’t remember everyone you meet. That’s okay. If someone you don’t remember contacts you, ask some questions. Get context. That will lead into the conversation about the purpose of the meeting.

3. He met her at her office

I avoid this one whenever I can. Unless a tour of their facilities is a requirement for referring someone, hold an initial meeting in a neutral location. Meeting someone in their office puts you in the prospect role. Once you know someone, no problem.

It’s also easier to get away from a neutral location if the meeting goes badly.

4. He drove a long way to the meeting, in lousy traffic

This just made it more of a time waster. If I want to meet someone badly, I will travel out of my way. If I’m not sure of someone, I make her come to my part of town, or at least meet halfway.

5. There were no boundaries on the length of the meeting and no escape plan

I don’t always make these. Usually, I am willing to let a meeting take as long as it needs. But I sometimes set the expectation for the length of the meeting, and I always have an escape plan or some strategy for cutting short a meeting that is wasting my time.

Put these simple elements in place, and you’ll waste a lot less time in meetings. Anyone else have other strategies to share? Or horror stories?

Tomorrow, I’m going to talk about the right way to set up a meeting with a potential prospect who may not yet know he needs you. And how to do it so everyone gets value from the meeting.

Civilian Networkers in Sales

Wednesday, April 7th, 2010

Several months ago, I wrote a post on Civilian Networkers. Brief recap. Civilian networkers are those people who work 9-5 and don’t network for a living. They require some slightly different handling than small business owners who network as part of their job.

A couple of days ago, I met with a prospect. He’s a new sales person, and until this year, he’s spent 25 years working for other people. In other words, he used to be a civilian. Now he’s in sales, and he’s starting to learn how to network. And his civilian attitudes are getting in the way.

We were talking about how to network with others to find strategic partners, and he was asking about how to turn his potential strategic partners into clients. I said he didn’t need to. He could be referred by people who have never used his services. This stunned him.

Remember that one of the defining characteristics of civilians is that they will rarely refer someone they’ve never used. Civilians may only refer a handful of times in their life. Those referrals are usually to close friends and families so they are risky.

Business owners may give out hundreds or thousands of referrals in their life (I’ve given out over 100 in one year, so that statistic isn’t as off as you might think). And those referrals are not usually to friends or family members. We’re willing to accept a slightly higher risk when giving them.

It’s important for you to know this because new business owners can be very good people for you to network with. They are unlikely to have built many strong relationships with your competitors, which is a real opportunity for you.

But you might have to treat those new business owners a bit like your civilians until they unlearn their old habits.

Social Media Time Schedule

Tuesday, April 6th, 2010

I get asked all the time, “What is your schedule for checking in with social media?” I guess if enough of you are interested, it’s worth me writing about.

My typical day looks something like this:

1. Wake up and pummel brain into activity with reading light fiction (works better for me than coffee)

2. Read blogs in Google Reader and check Twitter (if I have time)

3. Write blog post for the day (and maybe tomorrow if the next day looks particularly crowded). I check my @1to1Discovery mentions at this time and respond if needed. Some days, this is my only Twitter check-in.

4. Head off to a meeting (client or one to one)

5. Eat lunch (preferably at home) and catch up on Twitter or blogs

6. Race off to afternoon meetings.

7. Exercise after meetings and before any evening networking events

8. If there’s no evening event, touch social media again, this time mostly fun stuff. It’s important to catch up on the latest Doctor Who news and fanfiction.

I do try to get to meetings early and check Twitter on my iPhone. In 15 minutes, I can catch up on the important stuff.

Since social media is part of what I do for a living, I probably spend more time on it than many. And even I’m not on it all day.

By the way, you’ll notice I didn’t mention Facebook. I do check Facebook, but it comes in through Tweetdeck with my Twitter stream, so I don’t always think of them as separate.

I do try to space out my social media activity, but if you follow me on Twitter, you’ve probably noticed I tend to tweet in bursts. That’s because I’m on in bursts. I’ve started to use Hootsuite to schedule some of my tweets, especially ones that aren’t time sensitive. But I never delay retweets. Those go out as I see ‘em.

One thing that helps me from spending too much time is to check social media between other appointments. If I know I have only 15 minutes, I’m a lot more efficient than if I have two hours in front of me.

I hope this was helpful. Social media is an effective way to grow your business. And you can engage in the media without it becoming a second life.

Anyone else have good tips to share?

Finding Blogging Topics

Monday, April 5th, 2010

Some of you are just starting out blogging or are thinking about starting a blog. If you’re still thinking about it, I say get started. It is a very effective way to grow and promote your business on-line. The monetary cost is minimal. The real cost is in time.

I’ve done several posts on managing time in social media. Head back into the archives if you want more information on that topic. They all use the “time management” tag.

But what I haven’t yet written about is how to find the topics. New bloggers (I know; I was one) worry that they won’t be able to come up with enough material to keep a blog going. I had the same fear. Turns out there was no reason to worry.

I get ideas from reading other blogs and following people in social media.

I get ideas from networking events, both good practices and bad.

I get ideas from my clients. Sometimes they ask questions that turn into blog posts. Sometimes things they try work out very well, and I use them in posts.

I get ideas from watching the news.

Sometimes I get pissed off and need a place to rant. My blog is a good one for that.

As I come up with ideas, I jot them down in Evernote. I tag them “blog topic” and whenever I am feeling stuck for a topic, I go back to my list. Currently I have 11 notes, a little over two weeks worth of topics. That’s a lot of “stuck” I can get out of.

If you are just starting out, I suggest you create a list in advance. 10-15 possible topics is a good starting point. Write a few of them, to find your style and voice.

And then go out and post them. When you meet with clients, take a moment to think about the meeting and uncover new posts. Jot down the questions people ask about your business or industry.

But most of all, don’t worry. Topics do come. They are the easy part. The harder part is getting into a rhythm of writing, posting and promoting.

How to Break into a Conversation at an Event

Thursday, April 1st, 2010

I get this question all the time. When you are at a networking event and most of the people are involved in conversations, how do you break in without being rude?

The easy answer is watch body language. Find a pair or small group conversation you might want to become a part of. How close together are the people? If their heads are together, probably not a good one to try.

If there is some distance between them, look at how they are positioned relative to each other. Are they facing squarely? Or are they at an angle? If they are at an angle, they are consciously or subconsciously inviting someone to join them. If they are facing each other squarely, the message is don’t interrupt.

Suppose there is a particular person you want to speak with, and she’s talking to another. You can stand behind the person she’s talking to, facing her and catch her eye. If she sees you, she’ll give you some signal. Stay or go and I’ll catch up later.

Going to an event with someone can make it easier. It’s easier for two people to be welcomed into a conversation than one. And your buddy can get you invited to conversations you might not enter as easily alone.

Want to get someone to approach you? Stand alone, slightly apart from the main group and try to catch the eye of another solo person. That will usually get him or her to come over for introductions.

Yes, it’s tough if you haven’t practiced the skills. But once you have, joining a conversation is easy.