Archive for January, 2010

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A Way to Find Networking Events

Friday, January 29th, 2010

Last night was my monthly networking training group, and the topic of the evening was developing a networking action plan for 2010. As a part of that, we went around the room reporting on events we had attended last year.

We developed quite a list of networking events in Northern Virginia, and many of the people said it was the best part of the evening. By the way, if you are in the DC Metro area and want the list, DM me on Twitter, email me or leave your email in the Comments, and I’ll send you a copy of the list after I transcribe it.

And what if you aren’t in the DC Metro area? You can do the same thing and come up with a good list.

If you are in a regular networking group, such as BNI, you can ask everyone in the group to write down two events they attended last year. That should get a list.

Not in a regular networking group? No problem. Talk to the people you know who network regularly. Bring them all together for dinner or Happy Hour. Ask everyone who comes to bring two events with them.

Ask for more than just the names. Also ask for why they attended and their impressions. Much of the value last night was the discussion of why they were worth trying and the type of people who usually attend.

Before you know it, you’ll have a list of good events in your area. It’ll be worth your time. I know a lot of the networking in Northern VA, and I heard lots of new events last night.

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Characteristics of a Good Networker

Thursday, January 28th, 2010

I’ve been writing a lot about networking and how to do it effectively, but I realize I’ve missed writing about an important point. What are the characteristics of a good networker? Odds are you may have them and not even realize it.

First lets look at some misconceptions of the characteristics of a good networker:

1. Good networkers are extroverts

Actually, the opposite is true. Introverts are often better at it than extroverts. Why? Because we don’t have to be constantly talking about ourselves, which makes us better listeners. Effective listening is one of the most important skills to have as a networker.

2. Good networkers know a lot of people

This is true, but with a qualifier. They didn’t start with an extensive contact list. It was something they grew, over time and with a lot of persistence and patience. So even if you think you don’t know many people, don’t despair. We all had to start from somewhere, and if you apply good principles, you’ll be surprised at how quickly you can become someone “who seems to know everyone.”

3. People like me don’t network

Many people think that only a certain type of class or type of person networks. The reality is that we all network to some degree. Have you ever asked someone for the name of a good doctor, auto mechanic or plumber? That’s networking. Anyone, in any business, in any field, can network and do it well.

Now that we’ve dealt with some misconceptions, what are the real characteristics of a good networker?

1. Ability to listen

I mentioned this one above. Why is it so important? (I consider it number one.) Remember that networking is about helping others. How can we help others if we don’t know what they want or need? The best way to learn is by listening. And not just hearing. Actually listening, asking questions and seeking to understand. Sometimes we can be most effective because we are not in their business or field. That gives us a perspective that occasionally allows us to discover referrals or opportunities others are too close to see.

2. A sincere desire to help others

Many walk into a room and see a roomful of potential clients. The effective networker enters the same room and sees many doors that could be opened. All we need to do is discover the key. Finding people who can refer you will bring you more than finding clients by the each. Helping other people get what they want will make them remember you when you need something.

3. Patience and Persistence

Sadly many people do not possess those traits. They give up too easily. Most of the time when I go to a networking event and meet another person, we mutually agree to follow up later. Who do you think most often has to initiate that follow up? You guessed it. Me.

If you want to be successful at networking (or in business, or in searching for a job), you have to follow up. It’s part of showing that you can be trusted to do what you say you will do. The good news is that since so few people are good at it, you’ll stand out by doing it.

These are a few of my top characteristics. Anyone have others to share?

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The Dreaded Question: How’s Business?

Wednesday, January 27th, 2010

I’m sure in the last year, if you had a nickle for each time you had to answer “So how’s business?” you’d have had your own stimulus package.

It’s an awkward question in any economy because it’s not always immediately obvious how to respond. Should we be honest and say that things have really tanked lately? Or bluff our way through it by telling people we are fine when we really aren’t? Or has business really been great for you, and you want to say so without people thinking you are lying?

The good news is that you can answer the question. No matter the answer. If business isn’t good, obviously you don’t want to outright lie and say things are going great. But nor do you want to undermine confidence by telling people you aren’t sure where you’re going to find the money to cover payroll this month.

Good business people thrive in any economy. They are successful because they plan ahead, watch the trends in their business and the overall economy and adjust their plans to deal with change. If you aren’t doing that in your own business, I strongly encourage you to seek out a business coach to help make those contingency plans. When you have them in place, you will have a more solid business. And as a side benefit, you have the perfect answer to the awkward question.

“Of course, the economy has had an impact. But we have some good contingency plans in place. For example, we are doing the following…”

It’s honest. Of course your business has been affected. But you show you have a plan in place and are implementing it. And talking about one specific change gives you a way to brag about yourself, and possibly attract a new client.

And if business is growing like gangbusters? Well, obviously something is working. Identify it (if you haven’t already) and talk about it. That gives people confidence that you are an agile business person who can plan for and deal with any economic condition.

Good planning, agile marketing and a solid analysis of your business will enable you to thrive in any economy.

So stop dreading the question! You have a good answer. Use it to your advantage.

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Review: Go Givers Sell More

Tuesday, January 26th, 2010

Twitter wins again. Last week I responded to a post by @BobBurg to bloggers offering a pre-release copy of his new book, Go Givers Sell More by Bob Burg and John David Mann. Within an hour, I had a copy in my Inbox.

I don’t usually read business books on the weekend, but this one was so good, I read most of it on Sunday while waiting for my son to try on jeans in the mall. (Who knew a teenage boy could spend so much time trying on clothes!)

I’m glad I’d had the courage to respond to the tweet. I almost didn’t, figuring I wasn’t a big enough blogger for him to be interested in. But obviously, he follows the principles of his book because he sent it to me. And I want to give back by giving the book an excellent review and recommending it to all my clients and friends. And of course, I plan to buy a copy.

Why? Nothing in it is rocket science. In fact, the whole book is good common sense. But it’s common sense we need to be reminded of.

The basic principle is simple enough. Give freely of yourself. Period. End of sentence. Not “give freely of yourself in the expectation that you will get back.” Just give freely. And give some more. And, oh by the way, give to enough people and it will come back to you.

Readers of my blog and newsletter know that I preach and teach this message. Bob and John just managed to come up with some very good examples and stories to back it up. In just the last two days, I’ve found myself making some small changes. And I’m already seeing results. Yes, in just two days.

I followed the principles from the book this morning, and I think I’ve attracted a new client. A client I will be working for pro bono or nearly so. But I can use her as a case study to show how social media can help a non-profit. Which will open up a new market for me. And she’s already talking about other people she can introduce me to.

A tiny bit of back story. We have known each other for a number of years, and we had decided to meet over coffee and catch up. I had no thought of making her a client. We were just meeting to reconnect. (By the way, not thinking about people as prospects is one of the most important messages from the book.)

I followed the principles laid out in the book. Here they are and how I followed them.

1. Create value

She asked what was new with me, and I told her about my decision to add social media coaching to my list of services. I talked about how my services could provide value to various industries. She knows people in some of those industries, and she offered to make some introductions. Score for showing value!

2. Touch People’s Lives

We talked about a lot of ways we could touch lives, both ours and others we know. Most of our conversation was focused on whose lives we could touch and in what ways. Again, great conversation and just being two people together. No hint of “prospect” or “salesperson.”

3. Build networks

We spent a lot of our conversation talking about networks. We are both members of a local Chamber of Commerce, and we talked about how we could build our Chamber and increase both of our networks.

4. Be real

We laughed and shared stories. I listened to her stories, and she listened to mine. We shared similar experiences, but we weren’t trying to “one-up” each other. By the way, as we talked, we may have come up with the topic for a book, focused on coaching stories. Score for being real!

5. Stay Open

I had no idea that meeting was going to be so productive. Both of us are going to get great contacts and business out of it. And by listening and being present, I got a great idea for finally getting time to finish my book. Not what I was expecting at all, but I was delighted!

And as we ended the meeting, she said she wanted to work with me, when she had the money. But I knew I could make a real impact on her business right now, so I offered to work with her pro bono or at a significant discount. I was willing to just give that and be grateful for the case study of working with a non profit. But she mentioned a few ways she could turn that work into benefit for me. Benefit that will bring me many times the value of one client.

The five items above are directly from the book. They propose those five steps as an ideal sales process. I think you’ll agree they are more comfortable, real and potentially more profitable than the “traditional” sales process.

I tell people all the time that “sales” is not a four letter word. Bob and John vividly show how we can all transform sales from a vaguely dirty thing into what it should be. A way to give value to other people and build solid relationships with anyone we meet.

The book releases on February 18. Go get it. And learn to be a Go Giver.

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Posted in Referrals | 6 Comments »

What Part of “No” Are You Failing To Understand?

Monday, January 25th, 2010

“No” is a reality in sales. (And remember small business owners. You are in sales too, even if your title is “owner.”)

If you can’t handle a “no,” it might be time to look for a different line of work. I know you know that, and how to handle a “no” isn’t really the point of this entry.

The point is that as sales people and small business owners, we know that “no” is a reality of life. So why don’t we make it easier on people we say “no” to?

Yes, this came from a couple of personal examples. Last week, I got two “no’s” in one day. One was good. The person found another mentor and thought it would be better to work with her for right now. But she said there were ways she and I could partner, and was I willing to explore those?

Of course I am! And I said so. One the one hand, I didn’t get a client I thought I had landed. On the other hand, I have a new partnership to explore. All in all, not a bad “no.”

The other was a coldly written email telling me she did not want to use my services at this time. Not so nice.

A bit of background on the second. She met me at an event and she is starting a club for job seekers. I volunteered to be a free speaker for her club since I love giving back to people who are in career transition. As the conversation went on, she asked if I knew anyone who did social media coaching. I said I did, and she said she wanted to schedule a few sessions with me. I said I’d be happy to.

That was just before the holidays, and I wasn’t surprised to not hear from her. I followed up in email a couple of weeks ago and finally got the kind of cold email.

So she asked me. I didn’t “force” my services on her. If she’s changed her mind, that’s fine. I’m cool with that. No need to be cold with me.

Assuming she ever does ask me to come speak to her group when she gets it up and running, how likely do you think I am to be willing to help?

Most of the people reading this blog are entrepreneurs. We have to deal with rejection on a daily basis. We know how hard it is. Please. Please. You know what it feels like. Don’t inflict it on your fellow entrepreneurs. If someone has been a pushy sales person, fine. Push back. But if someone has been decent to you, then be decent to them. If your plans have changed, say so. If you best friend has offered to provide the product or service for free, say so.

Always be sensitive when saying “no” to others. You never know when you might need that person again. Burning a relationship by being cold is never a winning strategy.

Anyone else have a good “no” story. Good or bad?

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Posted in Networking | 1 Comment »

Social Media Follow Up After an Event

Friday, January 22nd, 2010

Yesterday we discussed methods to follow up after an event. I covered the standard, phone, email or snail mail.

But what about social media? It’s all the rage. Does it have a role in follow up?

Yes and no.

It can be used to schedule follow up meetings. I’ve used it that way before with someone who seems to prefer Twitter to email. When I got a response back from a direct message days ahead of an email response, I got the hint.

Follow up after a tweet-up or other social media event makes a lot of sense to be done through social media. But I would check first. Not everyone on Twitter or Facebook checks frequently enough throughout the day to make it useful.

Where social media excels is in researching the person you just met. Some basic research can make your follow up more targeted and personal.

I met someone last week at an event. We had agreed I would shoot him an email to schedule something. In the first exchange, his signature line showed he had published a book. I clicked through the link and poked around. Turned out the link to buy his book on Borders was a dead link. I made a point of telling him that in my next email.

Guess who just established herself as a thorough person who cares? And I found a good book to read. If only the darn thing was in e-format! Ah well, can’t have everything.

Checking someone’s website isn’t exactly using social media, but the same principles apply. Looking for a Facebook fan page or a Twitter account can give you some good information about the other person. It can give you an opening conversational topic that is more interesting than the weather.

I once used social media to check on someone I was going to meet at an event. I knew he was potentially a good contact, and I wanted to have more to say to him than “want to meet for coffee.” I really liked some of the things I found, and based on my research, I was able to give him a quick testimonial to someone else at the event.

Think he was willing to meet with me?

There’s a lot of information out there. Used wisely, it can shorten the time to build a “know, like and trust” relationship with a new contact.

By the way, this is my 100th post. I almost can’t believe I’ve had that much to write. And I still have lots of post ideas sitting in Evernote waiting to be written. Not running out of ideas any time soon!

Thanks to everyone who has read and commented. You’re the reason I’ll be writing 100 more. And another 100 after that!

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When and How to Follow Up After a Networking Event

Thursday, January 21st, 2010

Yesterday, I said I’d write more about effective follow up after an event.

Two questions I am frequently asked are:

1. How soon after an event should I follow up?
2. How should I follow up? Email, phone call, etc?

The answer to the first one is easy. As soon as possible, but no more than 24-48 hours afterward. I do make an exception for Friday events. I’m a big believer in setting work and personal boundaries, and I’ll never think less of someone if they wait until Monday or Tuesday to follow up after a Friday event.

Why so soon? The answer should be obvious, but considering how many people don’t follow up promptly, it must not be. The sooner you follow up, the more likely someone is to remember you and what you had talked about.

It also shows commitment and good organization. If I refer you to someone, I expect you’ll contact the referral as soon as possible. If you can’t contact me promptly after an event, you’ve already damaged your credibility.

So we are in agreement that sooner is better, right? Which brings us to the how. Should you email the new contact? Call him? Send a snail mail card?

All good questions. And the answer is, “It depends.” No really. It does.

I hear a lot of discussion around this one. Some people say you should always use email for convenience. Others say email is highly overused, and you should always pick up the phone. I don’t disagree that email is both convenient and overused, but people are individuals. What works for one won’t always work for someone else.

Take me. I prefer an email follow up. I’m not a slave to my phone. I spend a lot of time in meetings or writing (like now). I frequently can’t or don’t want to answer my phone. Calling me can lead to endless voice mail tag. Who wants that? So I always tell people it’s better to email me first. If we need to talk by phone, we can set a mutually convenient time.

Someone else may have an Inbox that is always overflowing and the thought of one more email to deal with is on par with getting a root canal. He wishes people would just call him.

See why one size doesn’t fit all?

So how do you know? Easy. Ask. When you exchange cards at an event, make a commitment as to how you will follow up. Ask if the other person prefers email or a phone call. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen the look of relief in the other person’s eyes when I’ve asked that. Whatever method they request I know is going to be the best one.

And if I use the preferred method, I’ve just about guaranteed I won’t get blown off.

What if someone says, “I’ll call you tomorrow,” and you’d rather get an email? Just say so. You both will appreciate it, and it starts the relationship off the right way.

What about snail mail? It’s good for a “glad to have met you” message if there was no specific commitment set to follow up later. It’s terrible for setting up a meeting. Handwritten cards, however, do get saved and displayed on my microwave for a couple of days. Just saying.

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Posted in Networking Events | 1 Comment »

Follow Up After Networking Events

Wednesday, January 20th, 2010

Yesterday, I wrote about selecting your events for the new year. I hope you’ve done so and have a full (or nearly full) calendar for 2010.

But what about follow up? It’s good to go to an event and meet new people, but in my experience people are very bad about post-event follow up.

An example. Last week, I met someone at an event. Someone else vouched for me and said I am “the person to know if you need a good networker.” We spoke for a bit, and I said to her, “You know. I need someone in your business to refer. Would you like to meet and learn about each other?”

That’s my standard approach to setting the commitment for a follow up meeting after an event. What she didn’t know is that I was testing her. I would like someone in her business to refer, but I’ve had a hard time finding someone with good follow up. I don’t want to waste my time with another meeting over coffee if the person is no good at it.

I made my offer as sweet as possible by saying I needed someone like her to refer. I even told her the best way to contact me (via email). What do you think? Would you have emailed me to set up a meeting? I know I would have.

It’s been more than a week, and I still haven’t heard from her. She’s missed an opportunity.

How many opportunities have you missed because you didn’t have an effective follow up plan after an event? The sad part is that you probably don’t know and never will.

Over the next few days, I am going to talk about effective follow up after an event. When should you follow up? How should you follow up? How can you use social media as a good tool?

Anyone have any good follow up horror stories to share in the comments?

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Events in the New Year

Tuesday, January 19th, 2010

You’ve had a few weeks to get back from the holidays, get caught up and back in the mood to work. And network.

Now it’s time to get some events on the calendar. What events should you attend this year?

Obviously look at what you attended last year. Which ones were most effective? Which ones were not effective? Do you know why?

Look at who attended the events. Are they the kind of people you want to meet this year? Why or why not?

Review your message. What were you asking for last year? Did you get what you were asking for? Why or why not?

I’ll use myself as an example. There were seven events I attended regularly last year

*A networking breakfast at a nearby Women’s Business Center
*Three networking lunches: one Christian-based, one a meeting of attorneys and financial types and a general-attendance lunch
*Two evening open mixers
*My Chamber of Commerce mixers

The Women’s Business Center breakfast continues to be one of my best source for new prospects. It stays.

The attorney lunch meets a need to network with the types of people many of my contacts want to network with. It stays as a source of referrals for others.

The other two lunches were not effective for me, and I will only attend them if someone I know needs an introduction to the event.

One of the evening mixers was very effective last year. The others wasn’t, but with the addition of social media coaching to my services, I think a new message will make that event more productive. They both stay on my calendar.

The Chamber is always good. It stays.

See how it works? I’ve retained events, dropped events, and I’ve decided to experiment with a new message at one.

Once you have answers to those questions, it’s time to schedule the events you plan to keep. Get them on the calendar right now, for the entire year. That will minimize the chance of getting distracted and forgetting to go.

Leave room for new events. As you network this year, you may learn about new events to try. Make room for them on your calendar, and run them through the evaluation process above.

Make 2010 your best networking year yet!

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Posted in Networking Events, Networking Groups | 4 Comments »

Lessons Learned from @wilw and His Book Just a Geek

Monday, January 18th, 2010

This seems to be my year to find insight in the most unlikely books.

Over the weekend, I read Just a Geek by Wil Wheaton (@wilw).

Wow! That was a lot of links in one paragraph.

Anyway, back to your regularly scheduled blog post. What does a book by an ex-Star Trek actor have to do with networking? Glad you asked!

One of the things he talks about in his book is his blogging. At the time, he was going through a very rough patch. His acting career was going nowhere, and he was trying to prove to himself and others that leaving Star Trek hadn’t been a huge mistake.

This “Prove to the World that Leaving Star Trek Wasn’t a Huge Mistake” side of him wanted to make his blog sound like everything was great, even when it wasn’t. He included a few examples of those posts. They were funny. But they didn’t ring quite right.

Every so often, something would happen, and the real Wil Wheaton would show up in the blog. He’d write frankly about things that weren’t going so well.

Which posts do you think had the most reads and responses? Yep, the honest ones.

Which is an excellent reminder for those of us who network. The temptation is there when people ask, “How’s it going?” to say, “Oh, great.” Even when it’s not. But there’s nothing wrong with showing a little honest vulnerability. No, I’m not suggesting you go around with a dark cloud and “Everything sucks” attitude. But sometimes we want to help the underdog. Showing a bit of vulnerability can motivate us to help more.

Think of it this way. If you tell us “business is great!” we might think, “Okay, he doesn’t need any help or referrals.” But telling us, “I’ve got some potentials brewing, but I’m not quite where I want to be” sends the clear message that we can help you get the rest of the way.

A lot of networking is working with, not against, human inclinations. We love to help others who aren’t doing so well. It makes us feel good, and it lets us think, “Whew! Someone else’s life isn’t perfect either!”

So work with us, not against us. Let us see you as someone who needs and is deserving of a little help. We’ll work harder on your behalf, which is what you want, right?

Not bad for a book by an ex-Star Trek actor. By the way, if you haven’t read it (or his blog), do so. Wil Wheaton is easily one of the funniest guys I’ve ever read. And he gives us some life lessons as an added bonus. Pretty good deal, I think.

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